Life experiences and roads have one word that can wrap them together… Journey
What do we believe in? Sometimes, we experience this life circumstances that has us to look to the sky and see if there is something making us have all these problems. It happened to me once, it changed my life and twisted around my believes. Everything swallowed me in a mental abyss that for many moments I thought that it was impossible to get out and that my life was about to make an end. From fortunes to nothing, my happiness became my imprisonment and the life I thought with all my goals became just futile hopes. Two years after I managed to make a stand and face my illness with a different force that was not pills, I started to learn how does the human brain and emotions work. I realized, that we all need something to believe in, something that can hold our emotions into one thing. That can be anything to be honest. For someone that feared everything, now I believe in us humans. Sounds absurd if you think about it without further thought, but let me explain. Us, the human race, the top predator in the food chain, possess the power and energy to do good and evil. Not surprised yet? Well let me tell you more. I believe in what I see; I see that when we all gather in masses we become unstoppable. We all create this energy that transcends walls, history, time, it can even mark a whole generation. I believe in that power, but I also believe that people can create hate. We all had witnessed this evil from others at some point in our lives. We always over look these things because we think it is “normal” but what happens to the people that become sick because of the evil of others even in the household? Yes, I believe in that, I believe that is a bad thing and it should be stop.
When I got out of the mental hospital I looked at the sky and believed that god was not up there just looking at us. I began to believe that god was among us, that god was within us. The question is which god? Any if you ask me. If you really think of things, us humans are the source of this strength, and power, we are the ones who decide if we are going to do good or evil. It can sound childish, but in a matter of understanding it is something that happens every day. After I was done looking at the sky I realized that I needed to learn how to control these impulses in my head, but at the same time I needed to understand the source of every thought that was in my head. Going suicidal is something that besides scary is very confusing. I used to tell people that suicide was something stupid and childish, a cry for attention in some or most of the cases. At least in my case the action of committing suicide actually sounded like a good idea to end all the sorrow and confusion that my brain was creating. It was like a long and slow process spinning in your head at thousands of miles per hour over and over agina. I do mention that is a slow process because I was in a very bad shape for almost 8 months, all that time I was just stuck in nothing. Of course the idea of finishing my life sounded like a good deal. There are people that maybe they go around with fake dramas and think that by saying that will get the attention needed. To be honest with you at that moment the only person who knew what I was doing was my wife. The shame of facing and telling my friends and family that I was going suicide was terrifying! My wife and I kept that to our own until now, yes you guys know about this before many of my family members. My reason is very simple; I want to help all the people that are right now suffering just like I did two years ago. My resolve after I looked to the sky was to help as much people as I can to teach them the way I see life. I am not implementing a religion based on humans, HA! Sounds overrated in my perspective! All I want is to help!I call this process journey. Journey to touch the heart of those who ears don’t hear and eyes can’t see, touch the hearts of those that are giving up the only thing that they have. As soon as this life ends, I don’t know if there is something else, but I don’t want to find out until I have helped as many people as my heart desire. That is my journey, people don’t need to be sick, actually I like helping anyone. Love smiling at others even while they think I am crazy. The thought of leaving a smile or at least changing the life of someone in one day makes me feel so accomplished. Some friends have suggested to be part of a none lucrative organization and help others by it. You know? I’ve given thought to that, but I think I am going for the bigger fish, I will go on my own to help people. If you are here right now, is because you are looking for something, does not matter if it is answers or enjoyment. This blog is intent to reach someone, is intended to motivate those who are down or almost there. The day that my wife suggested to do this I rejoiced, to be able to share my thoughts is quite a challenge since you don’t know how people will get it or interpret it. That is the reason why this is called journey, something that is to expect the unexpected. Right now you are being part of it. Are you ready to walk your journey?